Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
