so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
