Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
