it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
