Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
