you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
