yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
