did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize