He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
