what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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