I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
