Your dad touched me again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
