Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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