at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
