some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
