is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize