Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
