How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
