One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize