I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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