Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
