you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
