Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
