Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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