Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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