i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
