Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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