my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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