The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
