Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
