Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can you bring me the toilet please
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
