Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
