How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
