i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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