new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
