Don't you send me to vm
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
