Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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