I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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