I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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