I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
