Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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