4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
