the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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