i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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