You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
