I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
