Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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