Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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