We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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