im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
