I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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