i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
