Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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