I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
