yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
