He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
