Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
