OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
