She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
