I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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