We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i out mim tonsoeep
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
