omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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