I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
